Best Posts in Thread: Wassup ; -;

Ok well first of all I'm proud of you for posting this, we all have people no longer in our lives, don't blame yourself you dong.

Send me a message on here btw I'm totally not letting you get away with 'I still think about suicide'

It's really good to express yourself and your feelings, as most of us know, suppressing feelings for a long time can be really devastating on ourselves.

In regard to some of the posts on here, and for ones you'll get in the future, everyone's going to have critics. Not everyone is going to extend their hand to someone in help, some are going to put their hands in their pockets and walk briskly past. Some will even call you names and make fun of you. As @Jellybeanz1 says, find one good friend who will stand with you while a million are against you. That's what counts dude.

As for stevesforumalt or w/e, if the post bothered you so much, I don't think replying was necessary, but ofc to each their own.

And I'm not one to know people's situations, but I don't think the stones being cast with 'spend a week on the streets' are really founded on anything. I mean, haven't we all had everything handed to us? Did you work hard for the clothes and food you received as a young child? Did you pay for the house your parents provided for you?

I've been on the edge of nothing, I know how 'the streets' are, I know how it is to eat squirrel from a local park. I wish all humans had the decency to not wish that upon anyone, but sure, go ahead walking past, calling names to people who just want a little help.

 

Hello...

Is it meh you're looking for?.. I don't-

Joking. ; -; anyways guys, I just came back a few days ago and many of you are super confused of who I am. I've even got 'bullied' (I'll just say that, it hurt mah feels) because someone didn't know who I was.. If I didn't know who a citizen was I wouldn't be a jerk to them just because they chatted in /g or if I saw another ult chat in /g that I didn't know who they were.. But really though, the nice people on the server and on the forums don't really get who I am so..

I'm going to explain not only who I used to be on the server 2 years ago to now (and I went on a different account a long time ago so on /history you won't see it going back 2 years ago) but I'm also going to go through my pretty personal life just to introduce myself and tell who I was before and you know, just tell some stuff about my life..

Where to start? Hm..
Well, I used to go to school at a place called Rutland. Name doesn't really matter, especially considering I don't go there anymore. Rutland was this public school with an enormous 'population', and very rude people. I did have friends, but who wouldn't when one grade had over 500-600+ people? So of course I got bullied, extremely. I was a very skinny guy (I used to be very fat, but suddenly lost like, all my weight from eating healthy) But then I was a bit too skinny. :/ I needed someone to make me a sandwich haha... Okay enough with semi-sexist jokes (and please don't hate me because of that ladies, just got to laugh sometimes, especially with the things I will potentially say in a while).

So I'm just chillin at Rutland and I had some very good friends, and I was actually getting very popular.. Like, more than the popular kids xD And one day near the end of the school year I found something: muneyz. woah. 400$ just sitting there.. All in hundreds... No one around. Picked it up, and I did something nice.. I have a $100 bill to my friend. Pretty kind of me right? "Don't go telling people I gave this to you." I said, "they'll think we're doing 'it' like the rest of them." -Explanation time: at this school, one word: drugs, it wasn't a great school- So I gave it to him, and it looked cool because it was when the new $100 bill came out and had that cool strip thing I'm pretty sure. What'd he do? Went and showed it off (sarcastic happy face) He showed it off and eventually a coach got involved and found out then he got the vice principal to take us to the office and we both got in trouble :/ and really for having money that I found.. What was I supposed to do? Say, "Hey, who lost $400?" I would've gotten beat up for that money. Anyways, I still wanted to stay because I was gettig popular... And I was going to ask a girl out.. She was really cute and had been my friend the whole year. I was ready, I was going to do it the next day. BUT... Of course... Her and her best friend who was also one of my friends got in a fight because the girl I was going to ask out hugged a girl that her friend was mad out. Sorry, I know I just confused you all so bad. I broke your minds ankles. So she wasn't at school the day I was going to ask her which was at the end of the year. She also didn't show up the rest of the week (last week of school) because she was so mad and I never got a chance to ask her out. I was planning to ask her out the next school year after summer had started, then with my luck, my parents decided I wasn't going to go to Rutland anymore and I was going to go to Windsor, because apparently I could read soooooo great there when they were teaching me. But when I was little that was the first school I went to then the economy crashed and I was sent to public school where 'I couldn't read good anymore and my handwriting sucked'. I do love reading by the way, and schooling. Not really so much schooling, but my friends. I, of course, did NOT want to go to Windsor because Rutland was like, my place. They didn't care though, they sent me. I ended up LOVING Windsor. There was only 10 people in my class last year and this year there is 12. But back to seventh grade, my first year at Windsor for a LONG time. I got bullied by this kid named Hunter, he was a jerk. I had amazing comebacks tho, and I was accepted a bit.. Just w bit though. My only real friend was Tyler, and he wouldn't even say he was my friend most of the time.. ; -; Because he didn't want to get bullied by hunter. This girl named Rachel wrote in a book that me and Tyler were gay. This book was like a twisted version of real life where everything was fit to her imagination. She did it to make fun of me though. I wasn't mean to her at all and she treated me terribly. So did everyone else really, except tyler. All the 'cool kids' didn't really like me but sometimes a kid named Daniel would be my friend a bit. He also would make fun of me a lot though and join in with everyone else. :/ so it was pretty crappy but I still preferred it over Rutland because of Tyler. Forward to this year, at the beginning of the school year we got a new kid, Joe. His name is actually Joseph but once I walked in Tyler told me his name was Josiah and I said, "Wassup Joe?" This made Tyler laugh and Joe got annoyed and told me to stop. Welp, I didn't and now he's my best friend. <3 I love him in a non gay way. Tyler is also my friend still, and 3 people left the class, but I got 3 peeps this year.. In that case idk how I went from 10 to 12 but I just did. Guess I have a few less than I'm counting or a few more last year than in naming. The new peeps are Joe, AK, and a girl that came a few weeks ago named Em. (Abbreviated). So Joe is my best friend and him, me, and Tyler are like one group. Also this year, I'm extremely popular. like everyone likes me more than the other kids that were popular last year. I dated Rachel but broke up with her also :3 And I'm extremely tired right now so I'm saying random things. So Daniel is 130% my friend and he hates the people that were his friends last year. He tells me everything even before he tells his girlfriend, AK. I'll get back to that later.. But I'm still thin but not skinny, got scoliosis I don't want abs because of scoliosis because then they'd be a bit lopsided xD so I just have an outline type thing but not too toned. Anyways, I got a new haircut other than a bowl haircut (I flipped my hair every few minutes before). And now it's similar to fuzzlrs. And no, I saw fuzzys after I got mine. Like, way after. So people compare me to last year and are like "wow, you're way different"

So something happened a few months ago.. Worst thing ever. ; -; you guys don't even know. I used to go to my nanas house each weekend and sleep over and my brother did too. She was like the nicest person ever. Well, my ninny was but she died when I was little. But my nana was still here and she was so sweet and I loved here so much <3 ... On the weekend before my birthday I was at her house and was going to leave that day. I suddenly asked my brother, "How long do you think she has." I usually bring this up every 8-20 weeks.. She was 63.. We both agreed at LEAST 10+ years.. Later we went home that day, next day was my birthday... Four days later she died.. ; -; guys I'm crying. I get emotional even tho I'm a guy, it doesn't matter, this is the worst thing that ever happened to me.. Hold up.

Okay so me and my brother, we were at home while mom and everyone was gone and dad was at work. My mom had gotten a call from a detective. She called us and said she didn't know much about it and that dad was coming to pick us up. Before my dad got there I asked my brother what he thought happened, if she was dead or not. He said no.. Even though I knew yes. Dad got us and we were driving from our house to nanas and my brother asked him if she died.. He broke down crying and I just sat there in silence as the pain soaked in. He looked like he was laughing, as people usually do if they're truly crying.. He explained her death. He explained how she was cutting grass and started having breathing problems, went inside called her neighbor and tried using her breathing machine. She died in her neighbors arms. We got to her house and she was lying there on the floor, mouth open, face of fear. That's what I hated about that mostly, her pain and fear right before she died. I wished she died I her sleep or not at all rather then in pain and fear. I cried over her body, praying to god she somehow miraculously live. It didn't happen though.. I wished at that moment I could kiss her head as I usually did and hug her right before I went to my bedroom in her house and slept.. She was shorter than me so that's what I did. </3 I loved her so much and still do..
I couldn't believe it.. I always wondered when it would happen, hoping it would be after I was grown and she'd seen all her grandkids grow up and make something of themselves and make her proud. ;-; it didn't happen though. Know something else? It's my fault. She told me she needed her grass cut and I should've did it like I usually did. Instead I said, I'll do it next time I come over. I didn't even tell mom and dad she needed her grass cut so they could hire someone (because we provided her money that she needed and everything). Think about it. It truly is my fault she's dead. If I had done something for her, she would still be here.
Every day after that I talked to her in my own time, at least pretended she heard me to give myself piece of mind. Id go into my room in her house when we went every few days to feed her dogs and cry. And we didn't give her dogs to someone else or make them go because when she was in the hospital one day she made my mom a list of what to feed them 'just in case'. She loved her dogs. She had 3 gated in her front yard, and 4 out back. She wasn't some crazy dog lady, dogs just came to her house :/ and she always took care of them. She was nice like that. She always said to the dogs, "I'm NOT keeping you." We know how that went. It is my fault..
I contemplated suicide for a really long time and to be honest I still am. I don't need pity or convincing that I shouldn't though. Away from the matter though because I keep making myself cry thinking about it..

So back to school. I'm going to rush it because it's 12AM and I'm tired..
In short I'm popular now and I got involved with bad things. I've got two sticks of weed in my backpack and my friend just got a hickey. :| I'm screwed up. My friend told me before he did his girlfriend, and how did I get involved with weed? Not completely sure. A drugs bust happened in my school and a few high schoolers and a seventh grader got caught. My friend asked if I wanted weed and I took it as a joke and Said yes. :/ what friend? One I may or may not have talked about. Will I smoke the weed? No. ; -; I don't want to get involved in all this and all that. My life is extremely screwed up right now.

Annnnddd that's some stuff about me. That last part makes me sound like a bad guy or some crap. I'm not <3 I swear. I just got a new phone and apple watch(Es) tho so I'm so happy. I rushed on this after the nana part so didn't include A LOT that I wanted to say, I honestly would have to be on for a few hours typing everything I do want to say.. Want to ask me a question? Go ahead!! I will not lie about anything but I DO NOT have to answer them at all if I feel I don't need to or shouldn't. I will most likely answer all of them tho, so please ask or comment.

Like, comment, and subscrub.

 

Wow, that's awful...it takes some courage to tell random people something like that on the internet. I wouldn't share many of my personal stories tbh. I'm glad you're feeling better now though. Persevere

 

It's very brave of you to share this story. I too used to be a scammer on Meepcraft, and on my last appeal I also shared my story, and I remember how hard it was.

Welcome back to Meepcraft Burritoh

 

You're not helping at all.

 

That was a long post, it may even rival some helper applications.