In regards to all the drama caused, it takes more than one person to participate for drama to happen. Yes Hestia might have been the main cause of it, but no drama is entirely one persons fault. Had no one else participated, it would have never happened. However, this is where we evaluate you Hestia, not the others involved, so you're still going to be held accountable for those actions. I'm glad in your videos you went on to apologize for what happened, but I would have liked to have seen you make more reference to what happened.
You're obviously very self aware, a trait I'm sure many of us can appreciate. You also clearly value the importance of communication, whether it be by talking to someone on discord, in game chat, or even making a YouTube staff application. In this sense, both you and I are alike. I too am for the most part self aware, and highly value the ability to communicate ones ideas effectively. I'm glad we can relate in such a way as it gives me more of an understanding as to who you are in terms of your values. We also happen to share a lot of weaknesses, but I'll get into that later.
From my understanding of your previous run, you did do a good job in terms of the actual moderation aspect. I personally have no actual memories of that time, seeing as I wasn't around, but from what I can gather it was never that aspect that was troubling. When sharing your ideas, you need legs to stand on, and so pushing to be the best helper/mod can give you those legs. It seems that how others value on your opinion in your mind is contingent on your performance as a staff member, which is one key thing that drives you. This is not to say you wouldn't help out otherwise, but I think it's important for you to know that regardless of whether your a average helper, or an amazing mod, you're opinion holds value.
Taking a look at your weaknesses, you didn't really say too much about any of them. I would have much preferred you to have highlighted a couple of them and went a little more in depth, to really show how you plan to overcome them. I'll comment on on each of the ones I feel have the most impact on you and the ones I feel can have the largest potential negative impact on meep. I'm also somewhat basing my decision of their importance on the fact of how similar you and I actually are in this regard. We both share many of the same weaknesses, so I'll address the ones that I too find quite challenging to deal with.
Control Freak: One thing I really wanted to highlight about this weakness is your understanding in the chain of command. Very rarely do the upper staff make decisions without consulting the rest of the team, however understanding that they would have to do that sometimes is important. Understanding that while you might feel like your way is the best, arguing about it and making everyone unhappy is sometimes much worse than just dealing with an idea that isn't as good as yours. I feel that learning which times to argue your point and which times to let it slide is going to be a big one for you.
Narcissism: You said in the app that you "actually have no idea how to combat this", and so instead of telling you what I think can come of these tendencies, I'd rather just give you some tips that have worked for me. One way that almost always helps me is to take a step back and really think about the other persons approach. Simply thinking that their idea is different and therefore worse, doesn't actually help. Take a second to think about why they came up with that idea, or why they did something a certain way. Use this to try and understand why they would have made that decision. There are however going to be time where you are going to talk up about your feelings towards an opinion or idea and think yours is better. When it comes to that, understanding how to be diplomatic is very important. You don't want to start by putting them on the back foot, but rather make them feel comfortable talking to you. Saying things like "I believe your idea does have a lot of value, but building onto it..." or "I appreciate your contribution, however here is a different approach" will make it much easier to have get your point across without upsetting anyone.
Gossip: This is probably the most talked about subject of this thread, just because of how relevant it was in your last demotion. A lot of your other weaknesses tie into this one, which makes a lot of sense actually. Because of your narcissistic tendencies, you have a hard time accepting ideas other than your own. This in turn leads to you talking negatively about them and stirring up drama. I'm very glad that you've worked on fixing this by finding one specific person you can go to rant to, even if that person is a super. I remember back when I was staff in 2014 I did the exact same thing, and remember it helping me a lot too. Where I went wrong is that I started talking to more than just that one person about it, and it quickly spread. What I think will happen is that you will initially start off just confiding in that one person, but much like what I did, it will spread.
To conclude, after writing 7 paragraphs, my vote has shifted back and forth. Looking at the positives, you possess many qualities that would be a great fit for the team, and I believe you could bring in a lot of new ideas for us to incorporate. On the other hand, your reputation of causing drama among the staff proceeds you, and if it were to happen again, would definitely hurt the team. The thing that I believe was missing from your last time as staff, was someone to tell you that enough was enough. Not just say it to you, but actually sit down and have a conversation about how even though you were trying to help, it was making things worse. I believe this time around, we have a level of communication to where we will call you out on anything if need be, in a proper way, the same way we expect to be called out. If you wanted, I could even be the one helping you out in that department.
Overall, I believe that with the right assistance, you could make a very good staff member. +1
