Hestia's Helper app

In Game Name: Lady_Hestia
Skype Username: Nikkivariable
Teamspeak Username: Lady_Hestia
Mic use: sure
Age: 14
Timezone: Eastern Standard Time
Hours online per weekday: 1-7
Hours online per weekend: 2-14
Position Changes: Citizen (Vip level donator) to helper

Intro:
Yes it’s me again, sigh sigh sigh. After some time as a citizen I understand what I was doing wrong and am willing to work at fixing all my flaws (if they haven’t been taken care of already). What I’m asking for is a second chance. Do I deserve it? Probably not but if you see fit to give it to me you will not be disappointed. I was childish and blind and in my own world- I see that now. I feel that my maturity has grown due to this whole experience. I know that I can do good as a citizen but I will not be taken as seriously or listened to as much. The fact I was demoted may mean I’m never going to be staff again- I know that, I’ll talk about the incident later. I’ve been told in real life I’m super mature, I think I got too comfortable with the staff situation and I didn’t pay attention to how I was acting inappropriately. I’m sorry for all the issues I caused.
Why should I be staff?
I should be helper because I will do a large amount of modreqs. I will do tons of forums work. I will be on teamspeak as often as possible. I want to prove that I can do this better than last time. I know the commands. I know how staff works. In my last app I said that people think of staff as “corrupt” what I meant to say is that I’m willing to work with the group of citizens and help them to understand that their opinions are listened to and we value their contributions to the server.
Why was I demoted?
I was demoted because one night I raged at the admin Onis_Luck. I will try to give you the gist of what happened without leaking anything. Basicly he was calling some players ignorant and that bothered me and some mods. Later he actually said to one of the mods that her opinion doesn’t really matter. Plus a week before he hinted that he though one of the mods was something I'm not saying here. Maybe I misinterpreted what he was saying but due to this I got really, really mad. Most of what I was saying was supported (at least that’s what I thought). I should have listened to when cooleys took me to chill but in my mind I thought that if I stopped it would just keep happening. What got me demoted officially was when I threatened the server. I’m sorry that I got carried away. I should never had said that. There were other reasons I was demoted of course. I was immature and ignorant. I believe that I have grown since then.
Weaknesses
My past- I can’t write out all my weaknesses here but those who worked with me know what they were. Feel free to talk to me about what you think I need to work on, I’ve worked on everything you all have talked to me about and am confident that most issues are worked out.
Health issues- I’m not using this as an excuse! Health issues are a part of who I am and cause me to make mistakes and I am still working on how to not let them effect me.
Writing out what I think- I think faster than I type and my head is a few thoughts ahead of my fingers.
Empathy- One of my issues that effected me last time I was staff was when I made a mistake I would feel so bad about it. I hate letting people down. It depresses me. The good thing about this is that it makes me work harder in the future so that I won’t feel like that again.
Conclusion
Thank you for reading my application. I know that my past probably makes me unable to ever become staff again but thank you for considering. I’m bad at conclusions.

Hestia

 

Ps. I know there are plenty of helpers right now so if I'm unneeded at this point in time I understand.

 

+1

Potential

 

-1
See your other apps and help in chat.
Also you seem desperate for helper

 

-1 Nearly all of your why section is taken up by why you were demoted in the first place. Also you haven't been awful active lately and as mylucky said you seem a little desperate for helper. However there is some potential their just not quite ready. Good luck though.

 

I was out due to the flu. What is wrong with being desperate to help? Not sure what I have to do other than take an application writing class

 

You seemed like a great helper in the past, but
I don't think you're ready, seeing your last application.
This isn't worth a full -1, so
-.5.

EDIT: No score change, but you shouldn't dis yourself or doubt yourself in your application.
It shows that you aren't as confident with yourself as you should be.

 

This is what, your fourth application? Whatever.

EMPATHY IS NOT A WEAKNESS. There is nothing wrong with being empathetic and it shouldn't affect the way you work. If anything, being empathetic should make you a better staff member.

-1.

Same issues as before, don't trust you and lack the emotional capacity to handle staff successfully.

 

I just don't know what to do to get you to trust me. I feel that I am trustworthy and would make a good staff member.
for the empathy thing i meant to say that when I let people down I get really depressed. I probably shouldn't have added this looking at it now.

 

-1 You have not changed that much lady. You can help players as a normal player you don't need helper to be able to help players.

 

I never really see you ig or remember you so I can't say +1 or -1. Your forums activity is good and people seen to like you though.

 

+1 cuz Yolo. Potential issssss amazing

 

Dsperate to get power, stop trying to find your way round it.

 

It's posts like this that make me love DC,pretty much everything he said was on point

 

*Not a good app
*Don't see you in game much
* Epiphany is not a true weakness

-1

 

+ Your application was decent
- You have made several helper applications
- You seem to be desperate for the position of helper (Understandable, but still not good)

-1

 

I am desperate for the position I will admit that. Not because of power or recognition but because when I was helper before I felt like the happiest person in the world being able to fix issues between players and be part of something great.
Empathy can be a weakness if others use me because I do things for people. I'm often empathetic with people that get banned then go on ts to talk about it. Even if the ban may have a good reason. Also this empathy is why sometimes criticism is hard for me. When I disappoint others it disappoints me. I get severely depressed and even though it's criticism for my own good it's like kicking someone when they are down. I've worked on this lately and am much more willing to take criticism and work to make myself better.
Hopefully this clears things up

 

I believe this is my third time using this same explanation. Now I have something else to add to why I am -1ing this.

Your weakness is empathy, because people will ask you to do stuff for them and you will do it. That's what I read. It's like saying that you're TOO helpful, or TOO nice. It just doesn't make sense, and makes you look a bit full of yourself, or makes you look like you don't quite know what you're talking about.

I am still looking for improvement from you, and I haven't really seen much. I don't think you're qualified to be staff. I hate to be blunt about that, but it's true.

Regardless, good luck.

-1

 

Bravo for putting this in your weaknesses, still -1 even more so because you put them in your weaknesses. Health issues are a part of you but they aren't a weakness. To save some writing, I'm just going to copy and paste my last post.

You blamed your contact on a mental and physical disorder.
It takes control to get over these things.
You seem to lack the prior.
Also,

Honestly I can't get over the fact that you made a thread to say that "My actions are because of my physical pain which caused mental disorder." That is ridiculous. As someone who has a myriad of mental disorders-schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, to name a few- I find it as a giant slap in the face. Me feeling like I want to off myself isn't going to play on the server, I feel like death, and I still go to work and I slap a smile on my face and I act like a decent person. Yes, you're bound to slip up once or twice but, correlation does not mean causation. The fact that you have mental disorders does not constitute bad behavior.

And you constantly try and excuse things and you need to live up to your actions. I mess up, almost daily as a helper. But, I live up to my actions, I know that my actions were wrong when someone points it out. It seems like you will go "I did something wrong" -> "Here's this this and this to explain why I did something wrong and why I was not wrong because of this this and this."

Seriously, you're insulting the rest of us half the time.
-1
Its staying that way for a long time.

 

Ok I actually understand what you mean now, it took me awhile. I'm going to do this from now on. Hopefully you understand that the tread of my health issues was not meant to take the weight of my actions away from me though that's what seems to have been taken out of the thread. From now on this is not going to effect how I work or if it does I will not lean on it if I make a mistake. I will live with all my actions