Death

So I have a free-verse poem due for English tomorrow. The subject being death. I personally put a lot of my emotions into this, so please try not to be insensitive with any feedback, however, constructive criticizm would be appreciated. Thanks!



Life isn’t beautiful.


Life is the journey

from infancy to Death.


You cannot stop the inevitable.

Death is clear.

Concise.

Death is beautiful.


The ways of Death are perfected.

The ways of life are not.

Life can only be prolonged.

Death cannot be stopped.


Life is a struggle.

Everything done through life

is in attempt to make the trip to Death

less painful.

Less agonizing.


Life isn’t concise.

Beauty doesn’t know life.

Life is simply the journey

from infancy to Death.


Death is the embodiment of life.


Death has no mercy.

In the eyes of Death,

nothing is different between us.

He will treat us as equals.

We shall both cease.

Our stories

forgotten.

Our lives

forgotten.

Nothing that we do truly matters.


All we can do with life is wait-

so we might as well,

wait together.


~AH

 

Very beautiful actually and it has a wonderful flow. I love how you really tie the whole poem together throughout. There is this feeling at the beginning you mean as Death not to be some(thing/one), but at the end it is quite clear. Maybe if you made that clearer in the beginning it would help the reader. However, other than that. very amazing poem.

 

Very grim... Extremely grim. However, the poem itself is good, I just disagree with it's message.

 

This is a great combo of amazing flow and morbid themes. I like it.

 

Like it