Hello...

Is it meh you're looking for?.. I don't-

Joking. ; -; anyways guys, I just came back a few days ago and many of you are super confused of who I am. I've even got 'bullied' (I'll just say that, it hurt mah feels) because someone didn't know who I was.. If I didn't know who a citizen was I wouldn't be a jerk to them just because they chatted in /g or if I saw another ult chat in /g that I didn't know who they were.. But really though, the nice people on the server and on the forums don't really get who I am so..

I'm going to explain not only who I used to be on the server 2 years ago to now (and I went on a different account a long time ago so on /history you won't see it going back 2 years ago) but I'm also going to go through my pretty personal life just to introduce myself and tell who I was before and you know, just tell some stuff about my life..

Where to start? Hm..
Well, I used to go to school at a place called Rutland. Name doesn't really matter, especially considering I don't go there anymore. Rutland was this public school with an enormous 'population', and very rude people. I did have friends, but who wouldn't when one grade had over 500-600+ people? So of course I got bullied, extremely. I was a very skinny guy (I used to be very fat, but suddenly lost like, all my weight from eating healthy) But then I was a bit too skinny. :/ I needed someone to make me a sandwich ;) haha... Okay enough with semi-sexist jokes (and please don't hate me because of that ladies, just got to laugh sometimes, especially with the things I will potentially say in a while).

So I'm just chillin at Rutland and I had some very good friends, and I was actually getting very popular.. Like, more than the popular kids xD And one day near the end of the school year I found something: muneyz. :o woah. 400$ just sitting there.. All in hundreds... No one around. Picked it up, and I did something nice.. I have a $100 bill to my friend. Pretty kind of me right? "Don't go telling people I gave this to you." I said, "they'll think we're doing 'it' like the rest of them." -Explanation time: at this school, one word: drugs, it wasn't a great school- So I gave it to him, and it looked cool because it was when the new $100 bill came out and had that cool strip thing I'm pretty sure. What'd he do? Went and showed it off :) (sarcastic happy face) He showed it off and eventually a coach got involved and found out then he got the vice principal to take us to the office and we both got in trouble :/ and really for having money that I found.. What was I supposed to do? Say, "Hey, who lost $400?" I would've gotten beat up for that money. Anyways, I still wanted to stay because I was gettig popular... And I was going to ask a girl out.. She was really cute and had been my friend the whole year. I was ready, I was going to do it the next day. BUT... Of course... Her and her best friend who was also one of my friends got in a fight because the girl I was going to ask out hugged a girl that her friend was mad out. Sorry, I know I just confused you all so bad. I broke your minds ankles. So she wasn't at school the day I was going to ask her which was at the end of the year. She also didn't show up the rest of the week (last week of school) because she was so mad and I never got a chance to ask her out. I was planning to ask her out the next school year after summer had started, then with my luck, my parents decided I wasn't going to go to Rutland anymore and I was going to go to Windsor, because apparently I could read soooooo great there when they were teaching me. But when I was little that was the first school I went to then the economy crashed and I was sent to public school where 'I couldn't read good anymore and my handwriting sucked'. I do love reading by the way, and schooling. Not really so much schooling, but my friends. I, of course, did NOT want to go to Windsor because Rutland was like, my place. They didn't care though, they sent me. I ended up LOVING Windsor. There was only 10 people in my class last year and this year there is 12. But back to seventh grade, my first year at Windsor for a LONG time. I got bullied by this kid named Hunter, he was a jerk. I had amazing comebacks tho, and I was accepted a bit.. Just w bit though. My only real friend was Tyler, and he wouldn't even say he was my friend most of the time.. ; -; Because he didn't want to get bullied by hunter. This girl named Rachel wrote in a book that me and Tyler were gay. This book was like a twisted version of real life where everything was fit to her imagination. She did it to make fun of me though. I wasn't mean to her at all and she treated me terribly. So did everyone else really, except tyler. All the 'cool kids' didn't really like me but sometimes a kid named Daniel would be my friend a bit. He also would make fun of me a lot though and join in with everyone else. :/ so it was pretty crappy but I still preferred it over Rutland because of Tyler. Forward to this year, at the beginning of the school year we got a new kid, Joe. His name is actually Joseph but once I walked in Tyler told me his name was Josiah and I said, "Wassup Joe?" This made Tyler laugh and Joe got annoyed and told me to stop. Welp, I didn't and now he's my best friend.

So something happened a few months ago.. Worst thing ever. ; -; you guys don't even know. I used to go to my nanas house each weekend and sleep over and my brother did too. She was like the nicest person ever. Well, my ninny was but she died when I was little. But my nana was still here and she was so sweet and I loved here so much

Okay so me and my brother, we were at home while mom and everyone was gone and dad was at work. My mom had gotten a call from a detective. She called us and said she didn't know much about it and that dad was coming to pick us up. Before my dad got there I asked my brother what he thought happened, if she was dead or not. He said no.. Even though I knew yes. Dad got us and we were driving from our house to nanas and my brother asked him if she died.. He broke down crying and I just sat there in silence as the pain soaked in. He looked like he was laughing, as people usually do if they're truly crying.. He explained her death. He explained how she was cutting grass and started having breathing problems, went inside called her neighbor and tried using her breathing machine. She died in her neighbors arms. We got to her house and she was lying there on the floor, mouth open, face of fear. That's what I hated about that mostly, her pain and fear right before she died. I wished she died I her sleep or not at all rather then in pain and fear. I cried over her body, praying to god she somehow miraculously live. It didn't happen though.. I wished at that moment I could kiss her head as I usually did and hug her right before I went to my bedroom in her house and slept.. She was shorter than me so that's what I did. I couldn't believe it.. I always wondered when it would happen, hoping it would be after I was grown and she'd seen all her grandkids grow up and make something of themselves and make her proud. ;-; it didn't happen though. Know something else? It's my fault. She told me she needed her grass cut and I should've did it like I usually did. Instead I said, I'll do it next time I come over. I didn't even tell mom and dad she needed her grass cut so they could hire someone (because we provided her money that she needed and everything). Think about it. It truly is my fault she's dead. If I had done something for her, she would still be here.
Every day after that I talked to her in my own time, at least pretended she heard me to give myself piece of mind. Id go into my room in her house when we went every few days to feed her dogs and cry. And we didn't give her dogs to someone else or make them go because when she was in the hospital one day she made my mom a list of what to feed them 'just in case'. She loved her dogs. She had 3 gated in her front yard, and 4 out back. She wasn't some crazy dog lady, dogs just came to her house :/ and she always took care of them. She was nice like that. She always said to the dogs, "I'm NOT keeping you." We know how that went. It is my fault..
I contemplated suicide for a really long time and to be honest I still am. I don't need pity or convincing that I shouldn't though. Away from the matter though because I keep making myself cry thinking about it..

So back to school. I'm going to rush it because it's 12AM and I'm tired..
In short I'm popular now and I got involved with bad things. I've got two sticks of weed in my backpack and my friend just got a hickey. :| I'm screwed up. My friend told me before he did his girlfriend, and how did I get involved with weed? Not completely sure. A drugs bust happened in my school and a few high schoolers and a seventh grader got caught. My friend asked if I wanted weed and I took it as a joke and Said yes. :/ what friend? One I may or may not have talked about. Will I smoke the weed? No. ; -; I don't want to get involved in all this and all that. My life is extremely screwed up right now.

Annnnddd that's some stuff about me. That last part makes me sound like a bad guy or some crap. I'm not

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