Staff App Guide

Ok, so, to my memory, Phobophobiia first created this thread, then Rainbowdogfish made one, then Nubberoni created one, and Alien_Venom had one too, etc. Anyway, this is the Unofficial but Very Important Staff App Guide.

Just follow these ten easy steps!

1. Don't follow the format. The format is overrated and overused. Create your own format!

2. Say that you love to help. A lot. In fact, don't bother writing anything else such as your qualifications as long as you say that you love to help.

3. Donate. If you are Ultimate, it increases your chances of being accepted. Also make sure to mention your donor rank. Even if you aren't a donor rank, say that you will buy one if you're accepted -- even if it's a lie, no one will notice the difference anyway because you'll be staff.

4. Mention that you're a female. Change your profile picture to a girl (the prettier the better, it increases your chances!) If you're not a girl, then Google a picture of a girl and post it as your profile, and then say that you're a girl. Bonus points if you use Megan Fox -- people will admire your humor!

5. Say plz. Not please. Pls is ok. Say it a lot, then people will know that you really want to be promoted and they'll accept your app.

6. Use lots of exclamation marks. The more you use, the happier you sound. And a happy applicant is a good applicant.

7. Use lots of emoticons. A smiley face goes a long way!

8. Don't bother spell checking, grammar and spelling is totally for nerds.

9. Apply on your first day of playing. So what if no one knows who you are? You'll be a rebel!

10. Promise to stop all the hackers and rule breakers. Then people will think that you're super-human!

Overall, your app should look something like this:

plz plz plz plz make me heper i luv 2 help because im good at helping plz plz plz i'll catch ALL of the rule breakers plz plz make me helper, IMMA GIRL !1!!1!1!!!! if u make me helper ill donate plsplsplspls i promise i will b teh BEST helper EVER and plsplsplspls everyone luvs me, im megan fox!!!!!!!11!!!11!1!!!!!!!!!!!1!111!





...and that concludes our first episode of What Not to Write.

Here's what you should do:

1. Follow the format. It's there for a reason, and the first thing people notice is whether or not you follow it.

2. Don't say that you love to help. We know that, otherwise you wouldn't be applying for Helper! It's ok to say as long as it's a side point and not the focal point of your essay.

3. Don't mention your donor rank. At all. No one cares, and you look arrogant when you say it.

4. We don't care if you're a girl. We don't care if you're a boy. We don't care if you're transgender. We don't care if you have no gender. Don't mention your gender. No one cares.

5. Don't say please, it makes you look desperate, and we're looking for confident applicants! Remember, you're not asking or requesting to become Helper; you're applying to become Helper.

6. Be cautious with the exclamation marks. They're ok to use, but make sure that they don't become overly excessive.

7. Emoticons don't belong in staff apps, there have been apps that have been denied because of the use of an emoticon. While you can have some fun in your app, make sure to also balance it out with maturity. Staff apps just aren't the place for a or ; this is your chance to prove your maturity and capability.

8. Spell check, spell check, spell check -- I can't say it enough, spell check! Remember that there will be well-experienced grammar nazis critiquing your app. I would recommend writing it on a Word document and using the spell check feature there.

9. At this point, the server is old enough where you should be playing for at least one week before you post your app. Let the community know who you are -- you should be at least a Member before you even consider making one!

10. Don't make promises that you can't keep. Unless you're Kazarkas, don't say that you'll catch all the hackers. You can promise to try your best, but since that's already expected, it's best to avoid promises in general.

And here are some last recommendations:

• Be confident! Why should people believe in you if you don't believe in yourself?
• Length. This can be a gray area. Don't worry about it too much; while people pay attention to it, a short app that comes from the heart will always be better than a long essay full of fluff. And don't worry if you're not a good writer -- you don't have to be a good writer to be a good Helper, and staff understand that.
• Take your time. The longer you wait, and the more time you give everyone to get to know you, the better your chances are of being accepted. In general, I would recommend waiting until at least one person says that you should apply before you actually do apply.
• Take time on the essay. I've known people who have spent weeks and even over a month writing their app. Personally, I do what I call 'word vomit', where I write down what I want to say without stopping for my first draft. Then I edit and revise it repeatedly. Do whatever works for you.
• Be yourself. I really can't stress this enough. There's nothing worse than a fake person. If people don't like you for who you are, then don't pretending to be something that you're not -- leave and find somewhere or someone who appreciates you for who you are. Hopefully it won't come to that, but I've found that if you're just yourself, then people will just like you for who you are.

Overall, if you follow this guide, take your time, and be honest, then you really have a good shot of being accepted. Anyone can really become Helper if they put their minds up to it. Even I when I first started playing was a noob and annoying, but there's always time to turn yourself around. Good luck to you on your app, and hopefully you will soon be on the staff list.

~Bella.

 

Great, you deserve to be a helper yourself

 

At first when I was reading this I was like... Then I was like ohhhh

 

These are good suggestions! If you're applying you should consider them.

 

Awesome guide, when I first read this I was like are you trying to fool us, then I realized that it was what not to do.

 

at first i was like : "omg inc troll bate"

 

So...she's not megan fox?

﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿

 

Made my day.

 

Huge necro, but I believe it deserving of a bump.
+1 sticky.

 

This is the best.

And no, idgaf about necro. Its an amazing guide, and who cares if its a year old?

 

"Don't follow the format."
Lol, good luck on app bud.

 

Did you read the first line or the entire thing?

 

First line...
yea I'm that lazy

 

Well you sound like you cant read with your previous comment so

 

I nearly skipped the whole thing, troll guides are the worst.

 

it isn't a troll guide ;-;

 

You guys are such great readers, so proud

 

it started out as what looked like one, sooo... I nearly didn't read it :3

 

Why thank you!