Alright, I haven't done this in awhile but I am just going to look at this piece by piece.
The application:
If you are saying that you really are 15, then this is scaring me. My little brother, who is 11 years old, could write this application better. Apparently, the people you have referenced did not agree to be a reference for you. (Did I say that right?) This is already a huge red flag for me and is showing that either you don't understand what a reference is, or worse, that you lied. If you applied for a job you have to ask someone to be your reference, the job would contact the person you referenced and ask them some questions about you.
- Based on this alone, I can see that you rushed this application as fast as possible, also lying about your references. (Please see @NinjaRoxy post and @qazini above)
Introduction:
The first thing I would've liked to see was your first name. Like, who are you? I don't give two craps (would've said the other word) about your past. The first thing that you presented to me is that I should assume that you have a bad record on Meepcraft. That's another red flag for me. Other things that you could've done in the introduction: What do you do besides minecraft? You play sports / or have hobbies? I am already seeing obvious spelling errors and you're not capitalizing your I's. Then you go into the pity route which makes me seem like you want me to feel guilty about -1'ing your application, which won't ever work. I really hate it when people type "LIKE THIS" and to clear it up, don't ever do this in an application:
- Already, the first thing you told me is that you are a troublemaker, you gave me 0 pieces of information about yourself besides that you are made fun of. Also, I ignored that P.S. because I am going to tell you to work on your spelling. Over and over.
Architect:Oh, god. Please don't put acronyms in applications. One of my pet peeves when I help my manager at work. Don't say "XP" say "experience" also, the fudge (you know what word I am saying) is this:
mother and her mother and my dads dad and my dad
~ @CasualMow
No, I refuse to ignore this. You could've said, "I have a lot of family members in the construction business." Something besides this. Also, it's not in your blood, because I find building to be like drawing. You need to practice to become better. I think other's might disagree with me, or find actual evidence of people being good at drawing just by their family members. My other brother, who is 17, can draw 20x better than me, build better than me, and I'll let him have the opinion of your builds since he is more qualified than I am. (Yes, he is in the same room as me) Other things that I've already explained after this.
Builds:
My brother, (who is known as @sharpblades2 on forums but inactive due to moving on from this game) will do this.
"These builds, they aren't worth even putting in my town, if I owned one. From above, I see that you said that you were "inspired" by this. Changing one thing isn't inspiration to me, I still find this plagiarizing and agree with Natsu that you just mindlessly stole the first build but changed a few minor details. The 2nd build you have (The Mowglisid Tower) is just repetitive and boring. It just keeps going and going while nothing but the color changes. I would say that this build would be rated a 2 / 10 at most."
Conclusion:
Please pay more attention in English, and probably work more on your spelling and grammar. I had to try to force myself to finish reading this. I know that my grammar isn't perfect, but I do work on it a lot outside of classes. Don't use acronyms and try to be more original with your builds. Don't lie about your references and spend more than one hour on your application.
I think I spent to much time on this and could've done my Cisco Networking homework instead.
